February 3, 2017,
Coming out of a relationship which lasted 5 years was not an easy change to adapt to. The first 3 months post-breakup was quite a steep journey. I had to deal with my painful psychological inhibitions. In my dark times, these inhibitions almost destroyed me – BUT IT DIDN’T. I rose like a flower blooming in the spring after being casted away in the coldness of winter. I became a new and improved woman.
I had to recollect the pieces I lost and collect the pieces of me that fell apart.
During the process of regaining myself, I’ve learned so many areas about my being in which I never knew existed before. These areas led me to a deeper understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. Within the process of searching for my soul, I found a woman within me capable of loving herself and being happy on her own. I also had a rediscovery of my inner pieces that I lost – pieces that I truly valued yet forgotten. The collection and understanding of my inner being developed a new woman inside of me. I’ve gained so much joy in getting lost, because through searching I now understand who I am, who I want to be, and what I want in my life. I’ve gained control over myself after countless years of chaos.
Within 3 months I managed to turn my life completely upside down. I changed the way I ate, the way I dressed, the way I live and the way I think. Everything about me is different and better. Losing weight is one of those improvements. My body had always been an issue I had growing up. I was never completely satisfied with how I looked and never perceived my body to be good enough. My heartache pushed me to be better, and with this I took the initiative to lose weight, eat healthier, and find all the means to love my body. The right mentality and attitude shaped my current body. Now, I stand a hundred times more confident in my body and I look better than I ever had before!
I also developed a keen interest on new hobbies such as rock climbing and running. These hobbies are great for my peace of mind. Rock climbing clears my troubled thoughts because it gives me one goal to focus on: reach the top! Rock climbing also taught me a few things such as to trust myself and to never let go of myself… both in literal and figurative manners. Running is my escape. The sensation I get after a run is euphoric. During my runs are the times wherein I am able to recollect my thoughts. Running is truly a great way to lessen your stress and finding your focus.
Lastly, the biggest piece that I lost is my self-love. I gave this piece away when I loved him. Through searching for myself, I found the way to regain my self-love. I needed to do more of the things I love in order to love myself again. The things I love are things like: spending time with my family, creating memories with my friends, establishing new relationships with people, impacting one’s life in a positive way through sharing my story, playing chess, reading poetry, dancing in the confines of my room, singing loudly, and dressing well. These are a few things that makes me happy… and with the happiness I receive from doing these resulted to me loving myself again. I found that through attracting happiness within myself I also attracted happiness from others. I chose to surround myself with positivity. The positive people around me are also the keys to my current happiness and well-being. Loving myself became easier when I started to attract positive people and happiness from within. And with that, I am grateful for all that I have… not for all that I lost.
Don’t forget you’re better than you think you are. You have the potential to become the person of your dreams and all you need to do is to believe. Don’t be contented. Don’t settle. Don’t be mediocre. Be extraordinary. Be exquisite.
Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.