July 4, 2017
The ones who had been scarred by love, their trust is not easy to earn. The ones who had been destroyed by love, they’re the ones whose hearts are cold yet beautiful all at once. It’s not easy to forget about the pain of a past breakup, and for the most part that pain affects any relationships you may have at present. The pain reminds you of how beautiful love can be and how awful it can end. Unfortunately, the pain may also prevent you from committing too hard or giving all your love away to any of your future or current relationships. Deep inside the broken, there is a fear of love and that is why the ones who had been broken before have a colder heart than most.
Nothing is more haunting than being betrayed by love. Nothing is more painful than heartbreak.
Within each wounded heart, there is this lingering hesitation of committing and falling in love. No one wants to fall in love again just to end up being broken like their past. Due to the fear of getting hurt, we tend to build walls to protect ourselves from the pain. Some, may build walls just enough to let others in, while some will build walls too high that will make it nearly impossible for anyone to enter. This behaviour is determined by how much pain a person suffered after a breakup. The ones who built low walls suffered minimal pain, while the ones who built the highest walls suffered the most pain. Regardless of how much pain one suffered, any pain of love is still an excruciating pain. This pain will live deep within each brokenhearted soul and this will remind them not to fall too fast or to fall too much.
Each relationship we invest ourselves in will have the potential of becoming our “forever”, while some will become a life lesson. Unsuccessful relationships will strengthen us, but it will also change the way we love. As a person, we will learn to protect ourselves because of our fear of getting hurt again. At the same time, our past relationships will also teach us how to be a better partner and lover. After going through a rough history with love, a beautiful mix of fear and desire will sprout within your heart. Fear of being in love and the desire of being loved once again. This unexplainable mix of emotions varies for each individual. Some will want to find love again as soon as possible to replace the pain. Some will want to avoid love as much as possible in order to protect themselves from suffering pain again. Some will be right in between.
You will never love like your old love was, you will only love better for the next.
To the ones who will purposefully avoid being in love, they’re the ones who suffered the most heartache. Thus, their hearts had grown too cold and unwelcoming. I believe that those cold hearts still possess the potential of loving once again. It will be difficult to give warmth to a frozen heart…. but once the right individual comes along, the ice on the surface will slowly begin to melt. All you need to do is to wait for the right one and allow yourself to fall in love once again. Someday, the right person will make every heartache you suffered worthwhile.
In my personal experience, I had gone through a dark and miserable heartbreak once. This blog was created due to that awful experience. I started to share my heartbreak as a public display of my anger on love. At some point, I was consumed more of hatred than love. At some point my heart was so cold, it was infeasible to find warmth. However, deep down within me, regardless of how broken my soul was I still believed that someone out there will be deserving of my love. I knew I will fall in love again. I knew I had the potential of loving someone unconditionally just like that person would reciprocate my love. There may be fears of getting hurt still existing within me, but I know for certain that I must try to let someone in once more. I know for certain that my fear should not affect my happiness. I needed to allow myself to find someone with the potential of becoming my “forever”. I needed to let someone in.
I had my own share of fears of falling in love again, but those fears were not enough to deny someone in…
Today, I am more than happy to announce that on June 25th, 2017 I finally allowed a new person into my heart. Dear Readers, there is an amazing man behind my soul’s warmth and joy. He’s exceptional and he has earned a special place in my heart. He’s the reason why my heart is as warm as it could ever be this summer. I can’t wait to share more of our growing relationship with you all!!!
Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.