July 19, 2017
Have you ever been so attracted to someone that his/her energy just pulls you in each day? Have you ever been so invested in someone that you find yourself wanting more? Have you ever been so fascinated by someone’s character that his/her aura just draws you in each day? Have you ever been so thrilled by someone that their presence alone gives you heebiejeebies?
After many days of pondering about this post, and all the negative connotations that will come along with it, I’ve finally decided to just write it… so here it goes.
People in my life keeps warning me to “slow down” and to “take my time” with my new relationship. I appreciate the cautious reminder to be careful, however I know myself all too well by now. I fall fast and hard, and my heart is a fragile piece that enjoys the thrill of a new relationship. I’m the type of person who will give my all for the one who deserves my soul… I’m either all in or not at all. So for those people who keeps reminding me to “slow down”, “take it easy”, and to “protect yourself” – I appreciate the warning… but I think the words “taking it slow” are just not in my heart’s relationship vocabulary.
Surely, if Jason decides to break my heart again, I guarantee my whole blog will explode with more heartbreaking stories all over again. If Jason breaks my heart, at least another great blogpost will rise out of it. (Calm down guys, I’m being sarcastic)
All jokes aside, I entirely trust him. He’s truly someone who I can connect with in all aspects. Jason and I have the same vision and we both want the same things in life. I think that our shared desire to grow as individuals is what strengthens our connection in each other. For example, his desire to be an accountant is appealing to me, as it is the same goal I have for myself. His desire to travel the world draws me in, as it is a dream I share with him. His desire to have a family in the future pleases me, as it is also a purpose in life I strive towards. Essentially, we’re too alike to end up the wrong way. We want to grow as a unit instead of two separate entities… and that is why we fit so well together.
Our desire to grow together is what makes our relationship healthy. We’re not limiting each other’s dreams or limiting each other’s potential. Instead, we push each other for the best… to reach the capacity of each individual’s potential and to strive towards the same goals. For example, Jason supports my passion and dedication towards this blog as much as I support his passion to play basketball. He pushes me to do well in my current online class, as much as I encourage him to stay on track in school. He wants to become a CPA (Chartered Professional Accountant) as much as I do. He wants to discover the world as much as I do. He wants to have a family as much as I do. I can go on and on and on about all our shared attributes, desires, and goals that the list can stretch for miles.
SO WHY LIMIT THE POTENTIAL WE POSSESS?
I’ll admit, the pace Jason and I are going through is quite fast. Most of my family and friends had already warned me about the excessive amount of time I’ve been giving into this new relationship… however, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Isn’t the point of being in a relationship is to commit to someone and to spend your time with them? I’ve already learned from my past not to invest too much of myself and believe me, I understand the importance of finding the balance to make yourself, your friends, your family and your partner happy. I haven’t lost myself yet… and you better believe I won’t lose track of the people I held dear before Jason came into the picture. This relationship is nothing like my past was and comparing my current relationship to that from my past is almost disrespectful. In my opinion, I believe that this pace suits US and that’s all that matters to me.
For those who are genuinely concerned (my mom and friends) about my heart moving too fast… don’t worry… I already know that my relationship is moving too fast. But believe me, Jason is the safest person to fall fast for. Even though we’ve only known each other for 2 months, it truly feels like him and I had known each other for much longer. He knows me a little more than my own family does. He knows me a little more than most of my oldest friends does. He just knows me too well, and I know him well enough to understand he’s not the type who “fucks around”… he’s too grown for that and I’m too grown to be wasting more of my time on irrelevant people. Most importantly, I will not lose myself in this relationship, in fact I can only see myself growing more.
So to answer all the concerns about my current relationship… YES, I am in love with Jason and NO – I think we’re not moving too fast at all. AND IF WE ARE MOVING FAST… I really don’t mind the ride. I’m in it 100% for the worst and best of it. If I fall again, I’ll take the failure as another lesson. If I hurt myself again, I know the pain will only make me stronger… and IF WE LAST, then it will prove to all that I made the right choice.
Don’t prove me wrong baby, the contents of my blog is partially under your control too… and you already know that my blog is the story of my life… so make it great!
Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.