September 6, 2017
As I enter another year of life, let me quickly reflect on my 21st year of life. Within the past year I learned so much lessons in love, relationships, friends, family, school, and life. I am not the same person as I was a year ago. The old me wouldn’t even begin to comprehend the reality of her heart being broken for the first time. The old me wouldn’t even dare to imagine that all her fears would come true, yet she will face those fears head on and conquer it all. The old me wouldn’t even believe that she will fall in love again and gain a new appreciation for life, for love, for everything that shines and glows bright.
A lot has changed, and to be honest, I’m a better person now than I was a year ago.
Yet, the fears still exist. From the fear of getting heartbroken again, to the fear of failure, to the fear of losing people, to the fear of losing the drive in achieving my dreams. I had come a long way from the darkest times of my life, to where I am now. If life was to get more difficult within this point moving forward, I truly believe that I am more than capable of handling it all. I learned so much as a 21 year old naive girl and those lessons turned me into a woman with a heart strong enough to handle pain, a mind eager to learn more, and a body prepared to endure.
During my 21st year of life, I learned that Tax Class is not as easy as I thought, and I should had bought the textbook for the sake of my GPA. I learned that partying for 15 weekends in a row is insanely bad for my diet and body. I learned that being broke sucks and that I must work hard to support myself financially in the future. I learned that I’m not the best at being honest. I learned that travelling for 5 weeks to the Philippines would had been more fun if I had someone dear with me. I learned that our time on this Earth is temporary, and we will lose our loved ones eventually. I learned that I should had taken each opportunity presented to me, instead of letting it slip away. For instance, I had the opportunity to book my flight to the Philippines a month earlier… time enough to give my grandfather one last hug before he passed away… my failure to do so destroyed any living opportunities on this planet of allowing me to tell my grandfather how thankful I am to have a man like him in my life. Aside from death, I learned that people in my life are not always going to stay. Some of the most important people in my life will leave as new ones enter. Most importantly, I learned that a heartbreak is the best way to reshape and improve a person whose path has been rerouted.
Dear Dez, as you enter another year, I hope you remember all the lessons you went through. You will doubt yourself at times, but know that deep inside you exists strength and talent. You will fear many things, but there’s nothing else that should scare you more than losing faith in yourself. You are so much better today and you know it yourself. I hope you allow yourself to love genuinely and whole-heartedly once more. I hope that you allow people to prove themselves to you, as you do to them. I hope that you strive 100 times more towards becoming a CPA, a genuine blogger, a healthy individual, a great friend, a sweet daughter, and a kind person. Your dreams will come true, because you will remember to work towards each of them. Just believe. So many people believe in you, and I believe in you too.
Yourself, Mary Dezleigh Teodosio.