#relationshipgoals is such a big goal for most of us today. I can’t blame you, I want it too. But the part that worries me the most, is how the youth can misinterpret the ideas and values of being in relationship due to what they see online.
Yes, relationships are beautiful and if you’re lucky to be in one, being in a healthy and loving relationship is a wonderful thing to have. But the threat to this wonderful gift of an intimate relationship, is how social media can make it seem like everything is always going to “beautiful”, “happy”, and “great”. But in reality, even your favorite online couples have real life problems too… but you just don’t see that.
Not everything will be picture perfect as the Instagram photos are. Take Jason and I for example, we have our arguments and bad days too – but you don’t see that. We truly appreciate being labelled as “goals” in each of our photos in Instagram. But deep down, you all need to realize that a relationship requires so much more than just being able to post a cute Instagram picture.
Let’s talk about the truth behind Social Media Relationships VS. Real Life.
SOCIAL MEDIA: As an avid user of Instagram, I can’t help but post majority of my personal life online. For the most part, my followers will know who Jason is from the photos and stories I share. Social media is a great tool to share one’s personal life. Jason is a big part of my life, thus it is unavoidable to not have him in any of my social media accounts.
- At first glance, you’ll always notice how we’re always smiling, acting sweet, and/or looking so happy together. (AND THAT IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!! For the most part)
- Next thing you’ll probably notice is how our outfits are always looking perfect, my makeup all done and hair fixed right.
- Another thing you’ll definitely notice with plenty of Instagram couples is how they always stage their pics. Each shoot an IG couple posts online has been thoroughly planned for and meant to be marketed. The matching clothes, “casual dates”, or even “romantic hikes” are meant to get likes and engagements online (for the most part).
REAL LIFE: We’re not always this picture perfect.
- First of all, Jason and I have common/random fights too. But we never post it. Most Instagram couples only share the good parts of their relationships… and not the bad parts. This image portrays the idea of being a “goal” that others must achieve… but the most important thing to remember, is that, like most relationships even IG couples have rough days too. All relationships have their flaws, the best part about these flaws, is how a couple can overcome it and work towards a better version of themselves together.
- Second of all, I only glam up when I know I’ll be taking pictures for the gram. 99% of my day is spent with no makeup on, wearing sweats, and my hair wrapped in a bun. So calm down… we’re not always this attractive. In reality, Jason and I are often walking around parks or malls looking like bums – just like any other regular pair. So don’t set such a high standard for appearance when it comes down to your partner. It’s not always about the physical looks, or IG worthy appearances…. sometimes, you must take your partner for their non-IG looking days too. In fact, don’t be shallow. Instagram couples may deliver the wrong message to the younger generation, that an “attractive partner” means a “happier or better relationship”. That’s not it at all. What matters most is what’s inside. Don’t ever forget that your partner is more attractive if he/she have a pure heart.
- Okay guys, this is the real tea here. Like most famous IG couples, I like to stage my pics with Jason too. (I’m the type of girlfriend who tells Jason what to wear) But in reality, not everyone has to keep up with these images. Just because your favorite IG couple is making certain moves and posting certain photos online, doesn’t mean you have to do it too. My best advice to IG photo sharing as a couple, is to post a picture you both agree on. Each photo I post or photoshoot I have in mind, I always ask for Jason’s input first. Don’t be selfish… respect your partner’s voice too. For instance, if your man/girl doesn’t feel like taking pictures today, don’t force him/her. There’s no point fighting over an IG photo. I know this part is crazy, but I know that there will be younger kids who may put too much pressure on their significant others to act/dress/style a certain way just because of what they see online. I guess, the most important message I want to deliver is that you should always respect your partner’s views on IG…. not everyone will be comfortable to pose a certain way for IG… take Jason for example, it took him a long time to get comfortable in front of cameras like I do… he’s more the type to “take my photos” rather than “be in my photos”. To be completely honest, there’s no point of pressuring your partner to look like the “perfect partner” in images…. never, ever try to impress the people online of “how great your relationship is”. Your relationship should be great enough for you… and you only. Lastly, not each moment is meant to be shared online. Sometimes, the best moments are best kept in secret between the couple. These special moments are even more special because only the two of you knows about it. So please, avoid OVER SHARING!!!!
In all, I hope that the images of a happy couple you see online will not deceive you from real life relationships. Social media relationships are just a few images or videos of a couple’s life. It doesn’t tell all. I hope that the younger generations still remember to value the core values of a relationship. The core values of relationships such as: honesty, trust, understanding, communication, fun, kindness, and most importantly… love. These values don’t always show in-depth through photos… and kids nowadays only get to see a small part of that. Hopefully, Jason and I can become a great model of these core values. If not, then I hope you all won’t forget that these values are far more important than any photos online.
Mary Dezleigh Teodosio